Except for one thing. For more than 17 years, in my capacity as a licensed counselor, I have been listening to the distressing and horrible things that have happened to other people. I have been professionally trained to hear these stories without taking the burden upon myself. No. Wait. That’s wrong. Every time someone shared a story, they did transfer their burden on to me. My professional training taught me how to let it go and not take it home with me. Mostly. #copingskills
But if I struggle with not taking on vicarious trauma from hearing these stories, how does someone without professional training cope?
--Compassion Fatigue Solutions and Low-Impact Disclosure
Actors do not have the benefit of professional training to cope with story after story of trauma. Imagine hearing this several times in a day:
You’ve been such an inspiration. I’ve tried to kill myself five times. My social anxiety was so bad that I didn’t leave my house for three years. See these scars? I haven’t cut on myself in two months. And it’s all because of you. I’m alive because of you. Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re the greatest.
Now imagine hearing this:
You’ve been such an inspiration. I have pretty bad anxiety and depression and when I was at the bottom, I found your show. I really identified with your character and the themes in your show, and watching helped pull me out of my funk. I’ve been able to go back to work and reconnect with my husband. Thank you so much for what you do.
The first scenario tells the other person they are responsible for your emotional health and physical safety. “You kept me from killing myself.” Two problems here. One, no one is responsible for your well-being except for you; to place that burden on another is unfair and borders on emotional abuse. Second, you’ve just unloaded your shit onto that other person to carry. Hearing something like that once or twice may be reinforcing for the other person--to know that they make a difference. Hearing something like that twenty or more times is likely to overwhelm a layperson’s capacity to cope.
The second scenario sends the message that the work of the other person helped you through a rough time. “Here are the things you and your show inspired me to accomplish.” It also didn’t unload much emotional baggage onto the other person and was a positive spin on sharing gratitude.
Which would you rather hear twenty times in a day?
Which brings us to the announcement Creation recently made:
I hope everyone can see this as a matter of respect. It’s okay to show gratitude. Think about how you want to express your gratitude. Do you want to “slime” the other person, or do you want them to leave the interaction feeling positive and uplifted?